About Us

My physical pain started when I was 18 years old. I was in a minor car accident that apparently caused a bulging disc. This accident triggered decades-worth of worsening pain. I believed (falsely, it turns out) that the disc in my back was only going to get worse with time. (In reality, bulging discs heal in about 9 months) So, I started limiting activities, and began guarding my whole spine more and more by avoiding movements and chronically tensing up my core muscles. Despite these efforts, the pain worsened.

Compounding my pain was my worst-case scenario thinking and obsessive-compulsive tendencies (constantly checking, testing, and focusing on my pain/body sensations). Battles with depression and digestive issues round out my pain experience. Certain adverse early-childhood events led to a hypervigilance that made me perceive threats all around me. These events don't define me. But reflecting on them has helped me explain some of my issues and be less self-critical. I came to see that I was living a life driven by fear, making me feel unsafe in my own body and mind.

My healing began when I started to appreciate that my body and mind were merely trying to protect me the best way they knew how. My systems were stuck in a state of defense. Learning to view symptoms, not as threats, but as signals to listen to (not problems to destroy) helped me be less fearful. Viewing my body and mind, not as an enemy, but as a friend to cherish, led me to find nourishing activities and beliefs that brought me out of a perpetual state of defense and protection. For me, this was the beginning of self-compassion: not judging myself for the (often) automatic processes that were attempting to help me.